2007 Season
Thorpe Arnold vs DCC
Rob waxes on about salads, fives and bowling markers.
Thorpe Arnold is a fixture of long standing in the world of DCC, and usually produces a fair few runs, but is a bit of a bowlers� graveyard, although without the actual graveyard next to the ground helpfully provided by Broomleys the previous game.
It was a bit of a dodgy, cloudy, miserable looking day as we turned up, and it becoming immediately apparent that there was something not quite right in the dressing room. Smudge weighed over 9 stone? Crossy was bald? Then it hit us. Nick was sober, and in sparklingly good form. After we�d adjusted to this �out of left field� start to the day, Nick proved that you don�t have to be over the drink driving limit to turn stomachs when he selected his apparel for the match - socks, jock and all - on the basis of how well (or badly) they smelled. Terrifying to watch.
Elsewhere in the dressing room, Paul had finally brought the sleeveless sweaters as promised in May, and they were distributed and put on in short order.
Paul did his �blinky blimey cockney geezer� act in the middle and we were having a bat. The batting was negotiated furiously again, Jamie feeling the brunt of one or two ill judged refusals. �You up for opening, James?� said Paul. �Not really�, said Jamie. Rob got the choice of 4 or 6, and Jamie was thus 4.
Nick and Paul started us off, and both looked in nice touch. Paul belying his near total lack of match practice with some nice shots, and solid defence, and Nick proving that he can bat just as well with blood, rather than Stella, coursing through his veins. Nick especially was in super nick, if you�ll pardon the expression, with shots all round the wicket, a couple of off drives being the pick of a classy bunch, but when he looped a catch up to point on 46 (9 4�s in that), his second 40 odd on the trot, jug avoidance rumblings were heard far and wide in the vicinity. Paul, by this time had succumbed to one of those umpiring decisions that are sometimes given when it�s a team mate at the other end. The way he was talking, Paul middled it before it hit his pad. Smudger was unconvinced at the time, and gave his decision like the anti-Steve Bucknor. No room for doubt, no lingering death, oh no. A phrase containing the words finger, rat, up and drainpipe portrays the scene nicely. Andy Gaunt also decided the fate of a DCC bat in his spell in the middle, with Crossy given out caught behind, early doors. �If I did nick it, it was so faint I didn�t feel it�, Crossy said. �Tell your story walking�, PC Gaunt replied. But Andy was to roll back the years later with some fine smiting as the tail wagged furiously. Crossy also, unfortunately, also rolled back the years with the return of the �Cross overthrow for 5� (�). More of that later.
Jamie played very nicely for nearly his second 50 of the weekend (44 in the end), but he, too, was undone just short. Jurgs came and went unfortunately briefly, and Rob came, nudged and departed for 9 with an anguished shout of frustration, when a ball that should have disappeared into the brook levelled his leg stick. Mark Snelgrove, WK for the day, hit a juicy full bunger straight to mid wicket, and managed to curse his luck before the ball had been caught. We were on the ropes, rolling with the punches. We needed a dashing cameo, and today Smudger was the wearer of the metaphorical red codpiece. 25 in double quick time was just what was required, with 12 in one productive over. Andy Gaunt came in at a rather lofty (these days) 10, and proceeded to hit a boundary in exquisite style, as well as guiding a rising ball calmly through the gully for a single, reminding us all that he used to be a genuine number 10. 10 he got, a fabulous double figure innings for AG. The Vicar played with his usual abandon, hitting a third 4 this year, but didn�t last long. Benno smote mightily at the end, including a last ball boundary over a friesian�s head (if you get my meaning), and there we were, 201-9 off 40.
Full marks to TA for varying the bowling (Lecoyte the pick with 8-1-18-2), and we sat down to debate, and eat, tea.
It wasn�t until after the game that Paul waxed lyrical about the benefits, history, and now scarceness, of the plated salad in its role as a cricket tea. TA was indeed the �last bastion of the plated salad�, as Smudge put it, but today, even they go for the �mountains of sandwiches and cakes� approach. Myself and Nick agreed, as committed salad dodgers, that the flapjack and chocolate button cake on offer were �rather marvellous�. (� A J Greig)
Smudger and the Vicar opened up, and it was all going pretty well early doors. We tied down the opening pair, got a wicket or two, including a beaut for PC Gaunt in his first over for a good few months (�like riding a bike�, said Rob at mid off, to AG, and so it was proved), and looked as though we may be in with a shout. One fine comedy moment came when Nick, at slip early on, moved Smudger�s bowling marker by about 15 feet so it didn�t distract him. Smudger only noticed when he was almost in delivery stride 12 feet back from the umpire. 93-3 off 24 overs was the start we wanted, with Smudger (7-1-19-1) and Benno (9-0-35-1) bowling especially tidily (not to say that the Vicar and AG didn�t, to be fair), but then it all went pear shaped. The 3rd string bowlers (Rob and Jamie) coincided with the handy batters, never a match made in heaven, and it all went a bit south. From 93 in 24 overs, TA wrapped it up in the 35th without breaking sweat, unlike our fielders, who were all over the show. Rob was employed to �take the pace off the ball�, and he obliged, but it still seemed to go pretty quickly off the bat nevertheless (but he did bag his first wicket of the year, courtesy of a loose shot and Nick at mid wicket). Jamie was encouraged to �bowl like you did yesterday� by the Basford players, but Paul observed curtly, �Did he bowl a right load of filth yesterday as well, then?� Rather harsh. Crossy at one stage went for a run out off Rob, missed by a fair way and watched the ball speed towards the boundary as Rob saw �5� appear next to his bowling. Paul, by this time, was still muttering dark things about Smudger and his ancestry. But, like the Murphy�s, he�s not bitter. Mr Lecoyte (yes, him again) got 14 in three balls, to finish it off, and also managed to inflict some fairly major bodywork rearrangement on a Vectra parked in the Honda garage. The fielding was variable, only Nick really blameless (as per blinking usual), with a variety of good stops interspersed with some comedy glass back moments. Paul ended up with a �Popeye� style thumb after one especially sharp chance in close went down, and we ended up �comprehensively out-biffed�, as the skip so rightly put it.
Just as we finished in the rapidly gathering gloom, it started to rain, and was very wet indeed by the time we adjourned to the bar. Just in time. Shame there were no plated salads for us to enjoy.
DCC 201-9 (Briars 46, Lees 44 )
TACC 202-5ish