2007 Season
Eastwood vs DCC
Jez recalls:
Eastwood, the now well-established season ender, arrived well before its time. We're only 7-matches into the season, thanks entirely to the monsoon that dominated 2/3rds of the summer, and to be playing the last match of the year already just doesn't feel right.
But right it was and eleven Dorchestians rolled up loosely around the appointed hour and prepared for 40-overs of mayhem.
The Eastwood fixture is notable in a number of ways:
- the games are always low scoring
- we always win in the last over
- someone usually loses a trophy in the process
The assembled team, being Paul, Ady, Jez, Crossy, Jamie, Nick, Smudger, Alec, Gaunty, Vicar and Benno, readied themselves for the customary "nipper" and our openers took to the crease.
Jez and Ady made a watchful start on a spongy wicket helpful to their two quicks. Ady went cheaply, Crossy arrived, departed and the customary low score was already looking a long way off at 15 � 2 after 8-overs.
Jamie decided that nudging and nurdling was not the way forward and slapped a very pleasing 35, comprised entirely of boundaries save one 3 and one 2.
After he and Jez had gone and Nick and Paul had contributed 14 and 15 a piece, it was left to Smudger and Alec to steer us capably from 114 � 6 to 162 � 7, Smudger finishing not out on 36.
The last 15-overs of the innings provided the basis for an abundance of speculation on the balcony of the Away changing room. Was Jamie�s innings enough to nudge his average beyond Nick�s and claim the Batting Award? If Smudger finished not out, how many would he need to usurp Jamie? If Gaunty got in with enough balls to go, could he muster the handful of runs he needed to accumulate a season�s tally of 39 and claim the prize as the proverbial dark horse? The culmination of all the analysis was that top prize belonged to Nick, with an average of 38 (just 0.6 ahead of defending champ Jamie).
Cricket remains the only sport where gaining weight during a match is possible. Inevitable, in fact, judging by Eastwood�s tremendous tea, which rivalled anything available at Broomleys. The discussion at the AGM as to whether Eastwood should feature on next season's fixture list will be brief.
And so 11 well fed fielders wobbled out to the square, discussing with some urgency the need to "get this over with sharpish, before it gets dark".
Smudger, a nice man with a painfully thin physique, took the first over and roared in from the Sightscreen End, unleashing at the quivering batsman a venomous short-pitcher.
The batsman waited.
And waited some more.
The ball arrived and his attempted hook shot into the stream in front the pavilion resulted in a meek top edge, straight to square leg.
0 - 1 after 1-ball. Marvellous!
But then that's club cricket in a nutshell: a strangely compelling battle of ineptitude between two groups of men too unfit to play any other sport. In this instance, the batsman's inability marginally eclipsed that of the bowler's and the result was a looping long-hop which spooned off the wrong bit of the bat to a nearby fielder wondering what the hell's going on.
That dream start set Smudger up for a superb spell: 8 overs, 4 maidens, 2 for 12. That would surely be enough to secure the Bowling Award, giving him an average of 14.8. I mean, someone else would have to take 6 or 7 wickets in order to mount a challenge and that clearly would not be happening.
At 20-overs, Eastwood had 63 on the board. Neil Gregory, their mainstay of the batting for our last 2 fixtures, was at the crease but with the required rate now over 5 and the light worsening by the over, Dorchester was in the box seat.
And things looked even better when Benno came on and cleaned up their opener, who�d grafted for 25-overs for his 28. Much tutting amongst the Dorchester batting ranks.
Cue their number 5, a big lad with a big bat. Boredom set in by ball 3 and he lined up a huge moo towards Ikea. The ball disappeared up into the gloom, remained out of sight for some while, and then reappeared, plummeting towards something tall and thin at cow corner. It turned out to be Smudger. Visibility was really very poor.
What followed was subsequently regarded by Alec with great reassurance, announcing that Jon�s catch was "Never in doubt, Smudge!". Clearly, the bad light was much worse than any of us realised- from where I was fielding, I thought I'd just witnessed a failed audition for Riverdance from a man doing his utmost to avoid a fast-descending cricket ball. Obviously not. Super catch that, Smudge!
The electronic laser display scoreboard, glowing brightly in the distance, now read 89 - 4, with 13-overs to go.
Benno then picked up another wicket in his next over, and another in the over after that. 95 - 6, 9-overs left.
By the time we�d got them 8 down, they�d moved along somewhat more rapidly to 141, thanks to some solid play from Gregory and some bovine swiping from the lower order.
More importantly, Benno now had 6 and Smudger�s grip on the Bowling Award looked precarious to say the least.
Another tight finish was inevitable, as long as the darkness held off long enough. It was now raining as well, just to add a bit more interest to the situation.
Alec and the Vicar had contributed seven overs a piece by this stage and so it fell to Jamie - death bowler supreme - and Jez to wrap things up.
Kiwi took full advantage of the conditions and hurled down a head high full-bunger. Good tactics that, but still we couldn�t shift Neil Gregory, with whom Eastwood�s victory hopes rested almost entirely.
We managed to prolong things into the 39th but a six over square leg finished things off and we were left rueing our inability to take the couple of wickets we needed. To be fair, a top effort from Neil Gregory in the circumstances.
Despite another loss - 4th of the season - it was a good close match and we could reflect with some measure of satisfaction that the final third of the season had provided us with some half-decent cricket. The less said about the rest of the summer, the better.
For the record, Benno�s late sprint (sprint? Benno?) for the Bowling Award wasn�t quite enough and he finished with an average of 17.7. Particular mention to Ady as well, who performed more than adequately behind the stumps in piss-poor conditions.