2005 Season - Rolleston - 2005/08/21
Jez writes:
A motley collection of has-been’s, wannabe’s and never-bloody-will-be’s rolled into Rolleston to take on the locals in a 40-over bash.
Mick Stewardson followed his travel directions perfectly but arrived half an hour late. Turns out he had directions to the wrong ground.
Ordinarily, this wouldn’t matter as Paul’s negotiating skills always engender a favourable result at the toss, irrespective of whether we win it. The skipper was having second thoughts on this occasion though, despite the glorious weather and quick-looking outfield, and, mindful of our dearth of recognised batsmen, he elected to field first.
At five to two, their umpire rang the pavilion bell and marched out to the middle. Alec, reacting like Pavlov’s dog, bolted for the bar and ordered two lagers.
The rest of us wandered casually out towards the middle, followed some moments later by the opposition’s openers, one of whom was puffing away desperately on a woodbine, followed some moments after that by Norman, still climbing into his coat and patting his pockets in search of six stones. The casual observer would be forgiven for thinking he was not about to witness a cricket match quite up to Ashes standards.
We could have set a new club record for the lightest ever opening bowling attack by asking Smudger and Rich to kick things off but Alec got the nod, having negotiated extended opening hours with the barman.
Both lads bowled tightly and Al picked up an early wicket, well caught behind by stand-in keeper Spenno. This brought out their left-handed number 3, who made good use of not just one or two cow shots, but a full herd. Our boys looked on admiringly. Boundaries were carved left, right and centre and he rattled up a fifty in good time.
Divine intervention was required and the Vicar came on, recently arrived from his sojourn into several neighbouring counties. Mick bowled some decent stuff but couldn’t remove their man who, by now, was showing himself to be their sole run scorer.
Rich Brown’s turn came next and despite taking a wicket, he couldn’t trouble their number 3 either.
Paul and Jez, fielding in close proximity, hastily cooked up a cunning plan. With Benno keeping things tight from one end, four of the lesser bowlers (namely Kev, Brad and the two afore-mentioned schemers), would be rotated on an over by over basis. The inevitable assortment of long hops, full bungers and dibbly dobblers would bewilder their batsman to such an extent that he would certainly send up another catching chance - one, hopefully, that we might cling on to. To further spice up proceedings, the 4 combatants would each pony up 50p and whoever claimed the prized wicket would also pocket the loot. (Depending on the outcome, Jez and Paul would wait until the end of the innings before revealing the latter part of the plan.)
Jez was up first and lobbed down the necessary collection of variety. Simon Hughes would have done well to analyse the "grouping" in that over. But no wicket.
An over later and it was Kev’s turn. A simple caught and bowled chance was all it took, borne out of obvious confusion on the batsman’s part, and we’d bagged our man! Nice one, Kev! Such a shame the "50p in the pot" thing never really got off the ground.
Kev also picked up the last wicket of the innings, which finished on 147, but not before Benno returned excellent figures of 7-overs, 4 for 18.
With our two prime batsmen absent, some of the second string batters would need to step up to the plate to help knock off the runs.
A quick glance at our team photo reveals that stepping up to the plate, particularly one laden with cricket tea, is the kind of challenge our boys are always ready for and so we felt confident as the openers got off to a watchful start, putting on 25 in the first 10-overs.
Mark’s dismissal brought Paul to the crease and we pushed things on, steadily increasing the run rate.
With 14-overs to go, we needed 60 - a little over 4 an over. Clearly, this wouldn’t present a problem. No doubt about it. It’s not as though we’d have a major batting collapse and lose 8-wickets for 50.
We did.
Spenno clobbered a useful 20 but we didn’t offer much else. Needing 10 off the last over, which was a tough ask for young Brad, we finished on 139 for 9, 9-runs short. A classic case of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
A disappointing end to a good day but we left Rolleston in cheerful mood, having swapped excuses and safe in the knowledge that, with two weeks to go until the next match, there’d be plenty of time for Mick to find his way home.