Cow Corner

26th July 2006: A generous shopkeeper offers his support...

Added by Arkwright, Specs and Buckets R US

Dear Lllllllllllord Udder

I have noticed that there have been a nnnnnumber of ddddropped ccccatches and poor ffffielding efforts from your gggggallant bbboys in rrrecent months and am ppppleased to announce that I am ppppprepared to offer gggggggggenerous discounts(1% off) at my new all-in-one opticians/d-i-y wwwwwwwarehouse.

We have a wwwwwonderous array of coke-bbbottle bbbbottom specs/National Health(sticking plaster over one eye) wwwwire-rrrrims and for the trendy dressers who are still trying to pppull the bbbbirds - cccontact lenses of varying wwwwwidths (from fag-paper thin to make your eyes bbbulge like a constipated ffffrog).

And for those of you with ppppoor hands we have a great rrrrange of galvanised bbbbbuckets to suit all ppppockets.

If you have over-indulged at tea we also carry a nice line in ccccardboard cccut-outs (bring in a ppppassport sized pppphoto and we blow it up and do the rrrrest)

Looking forward to your ccccustom

Specs and Buckets R US

Bring a cloth Granville I've spilt the Tipex

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