2006 Season - Broomleys - 2006/08/06

Jez writes:

The Dorchester All Stars rocked up at Broomleys in fine form, keen to add to the current run of 5 successive victories. Paul nipped out with their captain to negotiate the necessary pre-match arrangements and, despite some pursuasive rhetoric from their skip, returned with the customary "We're batting first, lads" result.

Courtesy of a dodgy lamb jalfrezi and 8 pints of the local wallop on Saturday night, Nick tottered out to bat in a pretty fragile state, having announced to the rest of the team that he might be "opening from both ends" if things took a turn for the worse.

Thankfully, things took a turn for the better and he batted as elegantly as always, putting on 43 for the first wicket with Jez, before the latter was bowled in the 9th over.

Crossy joined Paul at 75 for 2, when Nick departed for 37, and the vice-captain / captain combination added 119 for the 3rd wicket. Paul batted with genuine freedom and enjoyed a couple of very pleasant straight drives lofted back over the bowler. Ian was at his imperious best, sweeping the slower bowlers for several sixes and fours and both made well-deserved, entertaining fifties.

The innings did not proceed entirely free of alarm though.

Both batters might have perished in an unprecedented "double play" incident: Paul went for another lofted drive, which the bowler almost took one handed but couldn't quite grasp. He swiftly collected the ball in his other hand and shied at the stumps at the non-striker's end, which almost ran Crossy out by about 6-yards. Tremendous entertainment and much oohing and aahing from the rest of us... but just another dot in Terry's book in the end.

Smudger and Spenno finished off a decent all-round batting effort - both not out on 12 - and we closed on 231 for 6 after 40-overs.

Those who played at Broomleys last season will recall the tremendous refreshment on offer and it was another stunning effort from the tea ladies this time. Our boys troughed the banquet of sandwiches, savouries, baked potatoes, cakes, doughnuts and... joy of joys... jelly and ice-cream! Absolutely stupendous! Perhaps a triangular tournament between Dorchester, Broomleys and Breadsall might be something for next season's fixture list, to be played over a long weekend with frequent breaks for lunch and tea? Perhaps Punch Taverns could offer some corporate sponsorship? Perhaps Alec and Rob might be available for that fixture?

Back to business. When defending a par score on a flat, hard, pale wicket in the centre of a quick, dry outfield, one thing is very important: don't let the buggers get off to a flyer.

25 - 0 after 3 rotten overs.

Arse.

But then Rich Brown and James Lees slowed things down well, with dot-balls an increasing occurence, before both openers niavely perished to the old "mid-wicket trap" routine: 1 x leading edge + 1 x mis-timed pull = 2 x caught Flight, bowled Brown.

Still, at 55 for 2 in the 10th, it was clear that this wouldn't be the simple victory procession that we've had in the last few weeks and some good, accurate bowling would be required.

The Vicar dibbled and dobbled from the Cemetry End; a tidy enough spell but without reward. Benno, always reliable in such situations, was unlucky not to pick up any wickets in his 8 but was difficult to get away nonetheless. Spinno also lobbed down a few overs and helped to keep the scoring below the required rate.

But it was our outfielding that won the game.

Paul snaffled everything that came near him and finished with 3 more catches to add to this season's haul. Ian, Jamie, Jez and Nick patrolled the boundary with a classy mixture of enthusiasm and ability: sliding stops, clean two-handed pick-ups, (mostly) accurate returns to Smudger behind the sticks plus a couple of run-outs were the hallmark of the afternoon. The Sparkling Wine moment, however, belonged to Rich Brown.

Their number 4 was on 53 and looking increasingly dangerous. A skip down the track to Spinno saw him carve a lofted off-drive out towards the deep extra cover boundary. Another 4 runs looked certain... until Browny sprinted in from long off, leapt, took a tremendous diving catch, landed and rolled over like a Portuguese footballer. Most fielders wouldn't have reached the ball in time, let alone cling on to the thing! Top drawer.

On a related note, last season's fixture was notable not only for its culinary output but also for the Vicar's one handed swoop and direct hit from mid-wicket. How naive of one this year's lower order, who should have read up on past events before coming out to bat, to push the ball out towards Mick fielding at backward point and call his partner through for a quick single. What was he thinking? Guaranteed suicide, surely?

The Vicar pounced on the ball like a hungry cat, spun around and unleashed towards the stumps at the non-striker's end what can only be described as a feeble, girlie throw, which bobbled tamely towards our fielder at long off. At no point during its journey did the ball get any closer to the stumps.Good Lord, Vicar!

Spenno finished things off by picking up the 10th wicket and Broomleys' innings closed on 202, a very creditable effort but thirty runs short of the target.

For the record, Gaunty, Browny, Leesy(!?) and Spinny(!?!?) finished with two wickets a piece and there was much agreement in the changing room afterwards that this had been the best fixture of the year. And just when things couldn't get any better, Dave Cross strolled in carrying a brimming jug of bitter. Nice one, Dave.

Smudger, wicket-keeper batsman and England hopeful, deserved this refreshment as much as anyone, having taken a few on the body for the cause. Someone remarked that he looked like a domino when he peeled off his shirt to reveal that "painfully thin physique". Quite.

Dorchester do a very good line in racy banter for the discerning male cricketer and, supplemented by the beer, the post-match atmosphere was lively... marred only by the truly awful singing from next-door's changing room. Think of a sentence containing the words "Aled Jones", "goolies" and "paper shredder" and you'll get the idea.

All in all, an excellent afternoon of club cricket.